One of the best!

From time to time we all receive those scam spam emails where someone pleads with us to help them to solve their rather large money problems. Rarely however, are the scam emails as topical as this one. Somebody was really quick off the mark to produce this:

"Dearest,

Peace be onto you and your family,

I am Mrs. Safia Gadhafi the wife of Muammar Gadhafi of Libya. I am presently in Algeria with my daughter Aisha and my sons.

I am sure you knows all about my family presently, I am contacting you for urgent help to secure in the name of investment in your country my family fund which NATO, UN and the Libyan transitional council have not seen. The amount involve is $80M.

Note; we are not interested on what you are going to do with this money or profit you will make from this fund rather my interest is to have the money back on demand.

If you are interested in assisting us, Your full assistance is highly needed in all participation.

Note also that your percentage for this help could be discuss.

Please forward the following information to this email address. safiagedhafi@xxxxx.xxx 

(address removed!)

Full name:

Address: 

Tel:/fax:

Copy of ID: 

Finally don’t forget that it is a top secret therefore only email correspondence for security reasons.

Thanks for your support in advance

Mrs. Safia Gedhafi"

My reply to this cry for help?

Dear "Safia",

The next time you try to scam someone, you might like to at least check that you spell your own name consistently.

Regards,

S 

A Summer of Reading

This year, instead of our usual tour around Spain, we've stayed "at home" in south west Germany. Circumstances have not allowed us to travel. When it dawned on me that I would have a lot of time to read, I decided to buy a Kindle rather than use up my luggage allowance with paperbacks before coming over from the UK.

I've been asked by a couple of people for recommended reads, so here is my Top Ten. These are not in any particular order!


1. "The Dying Light" by Henry Porter. This is a story set in the very near future and is all about surveillance - in my opinion a "must-read"! It's a direct descendent of 1984 by George Orwell.

2.  "We" by Yevgeny Zamyatin. If The Dying Light is a descendent, then "We" is the father of both Brave New World and 1984. A classic dystopian novel, written I believe in 1927. It's a translation from the Russian and although I found it a little strange to read at first, the style of writing absolutely suits the story. It helps to know that Zamyatin may have had synesthesia as he gave letters and sounds qualities :-)

 3. "Moon Tiger" by Penelope Lively. A Booker Prize Winner from 1987, this is a superb book. About the life of a woman dying in hospital, the narrative is sometimes written from her point of view, but sometimes from those of the other people in her life. A poignant tale of life, memory, love and loss.

4. "The Novel in the Viola" by Natasha Solomons. This beautifully written second novel from Natasha Solomons, whose first was "Mr Rosenbloom's List", is set in Dorset and tells the story of a young Austrian Jew from a wealthy family who flees her home country shortly before the start of WW2. She goes to work as a maid in a country home and it tells of how she adapts to her new life. A moving story with wonderful descriptions of English country life in the 1930s.

5. "Before I go to Sleep" by SJ Watson. A great pyschological thriller - a "page turner" about a woman suffering from amnesia. She loses her memory again every time she goes to sleep. On the suggestion of a therapist, she starts to keep a journal and finds that all is not what it seems.

6. "Great House" by Nicole Krauss. A neural network of episodes, neither linear nor parallel, but all connected. A book about memories and a desk. Hard to get into but so glad I persisted. Beautifully written.

7. "Chickens Mules and Two Old Fools" by Victoria Twead. A light and lovely read about Victoria and her husband 's move to a little village in the mountains in Andalucia. If you need something that will make you chuckle, as well as green with envy for the life she now leads, this is the book for you!

8. "Brandenburg" by Henry Porter. The second Henry Porter book I read this year, and I will probably go on to read others. This one is a spy thriller set in and around Berlin, shortly before the Wall came down. Great story telling from Porter again.

9. "Never Let me Go" by Kazuo Ishiguro. A film of this book was released several months ago. Great story set in a parallel version of England. I don't want to give too much away, so when I am asked what it was about, I say "free range chickens". It's not, but when you've read it, you'll know what I mean! One of these days I'll get around to seeing the film.

10. "The Warsaw Anagrams" by Richard Zimler. I've read all of Zimler's books. This one is set in the Warsaw Ghetto in WW2 and is a murder mystery. I always really enjoy anything this author writes!


Honorable Mentions

Other books I have read recently:

"Homage to Catalonia" by George Orwell

"Life Blood" by Thomas Hoover

"Truth Dare Kill" by Gordon Ferris

"The Hare with Amber Eyes" by Edmund de Waal

"War on the Margins" by Libby Cone

"Guerra" by Jason Webster

"Bloody Foreigners" by Robert Winder. This is a history of immigration in England. Everybody in the UK should read this! A compelling and surprisingly easy read. Very interesting!

Rubbish!

I am a frequent visitor to south-west Germany and have always been very impressed by the cleanliness of German streets and towns. One of the places I am seeing a lot of at the moment is a suburb of Karlsruhe, called Waldstadt. Faced with a post-war housing shortage, with thousands of people, including many refugees from the GDR needing homes, the mayor of Karlsruhe, Günther Klotz, came up with the idea of building a new suburb in the Hardwaldt, north of the city centre. Work started in 1957 to build large apartment blocks and houses, providing accommodation for a wide range of income groups.
The whole suburb is inside the forest, and with each apartment block surrounded by taller trees, it is difficult to see directly from one block to another. All are linked by a network of footpaths through the forest. It seems a very pleasant place to live.

Arriving there on Tuesday morning, I noticed large piles of discarded furniture, placed near the refuse collection points, at the ends of the paths, next to the street. I was told that there are occasional collections of these large items that people no longer need. An impressive service, I thought. At home in England I would have to ring the council and pay for the collection of something big like an old sofa or wardrobe that I no longer needed.

Imagine my horror when I walked along the same street a few hours later and witnessed these scenes...






It seems that the refuse collectors decided that some of what they found didn't come under the heading of "large items" and deliberately threw the smaller items around the grassed areas, paths and parking spaces, breaking glass and mirrors, discarding the drawers from inside a freezer, taking the rings off a curtain pole etc etc. I find this sort of petty minded, "jobsworth" attitude totally despicable! What if an elderly person, of whom there are many living in this area, had tripped and fallen on the strewn rubbish? Who would be held responsible for their injury? Do the local "Stadtverwaltung" actually believe that they cannot be held to account?

I somehow think that these refuse collectors would not have dared leave such a mess outside privately owned homes!

TV debut

In another post to this blog a couple of years ago, I wrote about my father's films. They have now been "discovered" and a few snippets were used in a BBC Four documentary which was part of their "Sea Fever" season, called "The Joy of the Sea". First broadcast on Tuesday 11th May, it can still be seen on iPlayer until the beginning of June. I also make an appearance, being interviewed about them.

It seems it has been decided by the surfing historian, Roger Mansfield (author of The Surfing Tribe), that my Dad was the first person to a) experiment using a long-board to surf in Europe, and b) to film himself using it.

My father would be most bemused that he is now beng considered a pioneer. However, he was always proud of the fact that he'd not only made this surf board, but also that he'd made a waterproof casing for his camera, strapping it to the board, to film it skimming through the water :-)

The silver lining?

So here I am...stuck in Germany. Well, not really stuck, since I know when I am going to return to the UK. A few days ago Iceland decided to cough (as an acquintance of mine put it!) and spluttered volcanic ash all over Europe. Flights were cancelled and the world was/is in chaos. We heard a comment on German radio the other day, which roughly translated said,"First they burn our money, then they send us the ashes!"

When Ryanair announced last Friday that there would be no flights to and from the UK until at least Monday lunchtime, I thought I should make some alternative arrangements, bearing in mind I was supposed to be back at work on Monday. I tried in vain to get through to Ryanair to re-book my flight. This, with hindsight, was a truly Good Thing, because I probably wouldn't have been back in the UK before May Bank Holiday the way things are going. The alternative options open to me were firstly the train, which I decided was a) too expensive, and b) the thought of lugging bags on and off trains and luggage racks while my back is still in recovery (a few months and several chiropractic sessions later) did not exactly enthrall me. Second option was to take a bus to Victoria. After some online investigation and a trip to a local travel agency, I was able to book onto the first available bus, which leaves Heidelberg tomorrow at midnight. This gets me into London late morning on Thursday.

The media is full of tales of people's long and arduous journeys across Europe to reach the Channel ports, hiring cars and taxis at inflated prices or having to stay on camp beds in airports or at expensive hotels while they wait for the skies to clear. Dan Snow, the historian and BBC presenter, even took a flotilla of inflatable boats across the channel at the weekend to pick up stranded Brits ("Ye Olde Dunkirk Spirit"). He was stopped in his tracks at Calais, although I do believe he took a few back. I do consider myself one of the lucky ones, having somewhere safe and comfortable to wait, and feel really sorry for those without money and nowhere to go.

Meanwhile the airlines are whinging that it's all taking too long and they're losing money, and let's ignore the fact that the volcanic ash damaged the engines of some f-16s. Lufthansa sent some planes from Munich to Frankfurt, which the BBC decided was evidence that they were 'test flights'. In fact, they were sent there to have them ready for when the planes were ready to really carry passengers. The BBC claimed that they flew "at altitudes of up to 8000m." What they didn't say was that most of the way they were travelling at 3000m, well below normal flying altitude. The time they spent at 8000m must have been barely a few minutes, considering the short flight time between the two cities. Other airlines are also sending test flights and claiming no damage to engines. What if the effects are cumulative? I'm not sure I would want to be in one of the first flights going back!

Testing Testing

A new widget from Blurb to promote my book.

A Portrait of the Alhambra by Sue Clamp

A Portrait of The Alhambra

The making of a book

Finally I have both copies of the book "A Portrait of the Alhambra", that I made both in Apple's Aperture and in Blurb's Booksmart. The results are very interesting. Firstly the Aperture version is slightly larger at 28cm x 21.6cm, compared to the Blurb version which is 24.1cm x 20.3cm. I ordered the Blurb book in their "Premium paper", which is noticeably thicker than the Apple version. The Apple paper is still good though and both cover and pages have a nice silky finish while the Blurb book has a glossy cover and silky pages.

The slightly bigger Apple version


The quality of the actual printing is very similar, and apart from one rather important difference, may simply be a matter of personal preference. I found the Apple photo prints to have slightly more reddish/yellowish tones, which on most of the photos gave quite a pleasing effect.

Pages from the Apple version


Pages from the Blurb version

However, on the one black and white photo in the book, this was not what I wanted and in this respect the rendition of colours in the Blurb book is much better. The other photo that also gave a very different result in the Apple book, was one of the Alhambra at night, where the sky has a brownish tone, whereas in the Blurb book it is completely black. I personally think that the Apple version is perhaps closer to my original photo, but the Blurb print is far more pleasing.

So which one is better? Overall, I think I prefer the Blurb book, even though there are some aspects of the Apple book that I really like. What makes the decision easy in the end is the difference in price, the Apple book being considerably more expensive.



The whole Blurb book can be previewed and purchased here.

Creating a book

I've had an interesting few days, spending long hours in front of my iMac, putting together my first book of photos. I wanted to try two services and two pieces of software for comparison. The first was Aperture, the Apple photo management program that I use, This has a book making facility integrated into the program, which makes the creation of a book very straightforward, you then click a button and, providing you have an account set up with Apple, upload and order your book.

Good bits of using Aperture:

Easy to do
Easy to order

Bad bits:

Very slow to upload
Text options limited (somehow couldn't use different fonts very easily, or choose different sizes within the same block of text - did I miss something?)
Seems expensive (but haven't got the book to inspect quality yet)

The second service I tried was Blurb, using their free software Booksmart. This involved exporting all the photos from Aperture (which took time), but I found the layout options very flexible and allowed some 'creative' options which I enjoyed. Maybe I didn't fully explore the possibilities with Aperture, but there seemed to be more options (especially with text!) in Booksmart.

Good bits about Booksmart (and Blurb):

Easy to do
Lots of options
Easy to order
Cheaper than Apple (but haven't got the book to inspect quality yet)
Seemed to upload more quickly (but see below)
Being able to sell to the public with a profit :-)


Bad bits:

Having to export photos from Aperture was time consuming, even when all photos were selected en masse.
First attempt to upload failed.


I will report back when both books arrive for a comparison of speed of delivery and quality of product.

By the way, I have entered the Blurb Book Contest, so please vote for the book from the 23rd October onwards :-)

A Portrait of ...

By Sue Clamp

Book Preview

I blow my nose at swine flu

OK, I'll admit it, I've blown my nose a few times the last couple of days. I've even sneezed and coughed once or twice - BUT I HAVEN'T GOT SWINE FLU! How do I know? I haven't got a high temperature and apart from one slightly stuffy nostril, I feel absolutely fine. Whatever happened to the summer cold? It seems everyone with the slightest sniffle claims to have swine flu these days. I'm not saying that nobody has it, but I'm guessing there are fewer than reported. It's just a theory of course, but with all the media hype, over the phone diagnosis and the availability of Tamiflu, I'm wondering whether some people aren't exaggerating their symptoms just a teeny bit, just to get hold of antivirals.
Yesterday, at Stansted, I saw two women wearing masks. I consider this to be a little over the top, as there is no proof that masks would protect you in any case. We have to live our lives as normally as possible. It's a bit like after the September 11th attacks, a lot of people were afraid to fly. It seems to me that governments quite like to have their population fearful and dependent on them for 'protection'. After September 11th we saw tanks at Heathrow(!) and increased security everywhere. In this case our government gives us a pandemic helpline, Tamiflu and the promise of vaccination in the autumn.
The world's gone mad.

Commercial break

The other week I decided that the time had come to see if there might be some people out there in the big wide world who would want to buy my photos. In a flurry of activity, I set up an account with Red Bubble, who take care of all the hard work for me and I am now able to offer any of my photos as greeting cards, prints of all types and even posters! I was pleasantly surprised when, within the first few days, I sold three greeting cards :-)
I have taken a small selection and uploaded them to my Reb Bubble site, but any of the photos on my Flickr page can be made available by request.
If you scroll down to the bottom of this page, you can see a slideshow of the Red Bubble photos and a link to find them. If you're too lazy to scroll, there's another link on the right hand side of the page :-)

Education, education, education

So the Rose Review of the Primary Curriculum has been published and I heard that Mick Waters (QCA Director of Curriculum), speaking at a conference in the past few days, has said that schools should totally ignore it! He says that the Conservatives don't like it at all so it is never likely to happen.
It seems rather perverse that politicians can get rid of something that is seen as a positive move by a significant part of the education community.

A passing

Saddened to hear of the death of John Martyn today. I first went to one of his gigs in 1974 and last saw him in November 2008. This feels like the end of an era.

New love

A new passion has entered my life. Not content with the glorious high of owning The Red Shoes, I have now bought myself the longed-for dslr - a Sony Alpha 300. Until now I've had a Konica Minolta Dimage 7, which I 'inherited' from J a couple of years ago. It's been a good friend and taken some beautiful photographs, but it was time for a change. I've made a lens purchase from eBay, got another one on back-order at Jessops and a Crumpler bag also out of stock and on order.
It's all rather novel really and filled with exciting possibilities, only limited by my ability. It's quite a steep learning curve - all this stuff - words like exposure, aperture, focal length and f-stops twirling around in my little brain like autumn leaves in a flurry waiting to settle in the right places.
Photos? I've taken a few. Here's one and the rest can be seen on my Flickr stream.

Red shoes

Have you ever been totally obsessed by a pair of shoes? I never have; never understood the passion that some people (usually women) can have for shoes. I've always been a practical person, preferring comfortable flat shoes for most occasions. I think this came about after sneezing while wearing a pair of high platform shoes in my early twenties and putting my back out for three months (yes, I know that sounds highly unlikely, but it is true!). So when this pair of red shoes took my eye when I was buying myself a pair of slippers last weekend, I was totally shocked at my reaction. Anyone looking closely enough would have seen my pupils immediately dilate. I was a woman in love! Another woman in the shop had been trying them on and debating whether they would be a little too wild for her role as a doctor. The shop assistant suggested the black version, but the doctor dismissed black as boring. Of course she was right. While the black version were simply elegant, the red ones were to die for. She bought the shoes, but I just didn't dare look at the price tag. I knew they would be expensive. They smelt expensive.

I went home, happy with my new slippers, but I couldn't get those shoes out of my mind. All week I kept thinking about them. I looked up the manufacturer online and found a picture of them that I could drool over, but this simply wasn't enough. I had to go back. If they didn't have my size or they felt uncomfortable, it would be fate deciding that I was not destined to own them.

I walked into the shop and there they were.
"Can I have these in a size 4 please?"
The assistant disappeared downstairs to the stock room.
"Only in black, I'm afraid. We've only got the red ones in a size 3."

Now it has been known for size 3's to fit me, but rarely. I decided to try anyway. I felt like Cinderella as I slipped my foot in and pulled up the zip at the side. They fitted as if they had been made for me. I walked around the shop and they were surprisingly comfortable; the leather soft and forgiving. By now I had looked inside and seen the price. It was no shock as I knew they would cost that much. Without a moment's hesitation, I was handing over my card to pay. However, the best bit of this story is that the shoes have now become a very early Christmas present for me from J. Thank you so much!

Procrastination

It's that time of year again; the time when even cleaning windows or doing the washing up seems preferable to a certain task; the task of writing reports. It's so easy to find a million and one other more urgent things to do, like plumping cushions and dusting down my blog. Wikipedia describes my behaviour as "The relaxed type" rather than "The tense-afraid type" as I certainly don't have negative feelings about it all. Well, not really. I know it has to be done and I know it will be done - eventually.



Maybe I should write my own report (another good work-avoidance tactic, I think!)?

Lump-free

Two posts in one day - this is a record for me! Yesterday I had my lipoma removed which I found shortly before Christmas. I have to say the whole experience was remarkable and I have nothing but praise for the NHS!
I was admitted at 8, taken down to theatre at 9 and was given a light general anaesthetic. I woke in the recovery ward and just felt like I'd had a nice little nap. I was back in my little room (called 'cabins' these are individual rooms for each patient) by 10. Tea and toast brought to me a few minutes later, I was home by 12!

I've had very little pain so far, although my leg does feel stiff and I didn't sleep very well last night. I'm a side-lyer and can't put too much pressure on my right side for very long ever since I fell down some stairs last summer. My left leg is stitched up so I can't lie on that side either. Lying on my back is OK for a very short while.

I shouldn't complain really. At least I don't have to go back to work until I've fully recovered.

New toys

Eleven years after buying my last computer I finally treated myself to a new one. This time, I'm a Mac convert. I've got this rather lovely shiny iMac on my desk now :-)

Ryanair don't care

I had a very special birthday present from Ryanair on Sunday, of an extra 5 hours and 40 minutes in Germany. The bad news is that they were spent at Baden airport!

I had priority boarding and got on the plane, due to leave Baden at 17:10. About half the passengers got on board before everything ground to a halt. The cabin crew were rather baffled and tried to get some information. After a few minutes the pilot told us that we were going to have to get off the plane. Another plane, two stands down from us had been struck by lightning and they were transferring its passengers onto our plane! To add insult to injury, it appeared that once the other plane had been OK'd by an engineer, we would fly out on that one! I’ve only just recovered from being a rather nervous flyer after many years. I can honestly say that this news did not inspire me with confidence!

We were taken back to the terminal building and all staff promptly disappeared. A while later a disembodied voice informed us that the delay would be indefinite as they were waiting for the engineer.
Two hours later the voice said that they didn't know how long it was likely to take and Ryanair were now offering passengers who didn't want to wait, the option of either getting a full refund or leaving on the next available flight....
I joined the queue at the information desk, prepared to take the latter option, but while we were queuing, we were informed that Ryanair were sending a plane to take us to Stansted which would arrive at Baden just before 10.

Eventually we took off at 22:50 and I got home shortly before 1am.

At no point were we offered any food, drink or communications facilities even though airlines have an obligation to do so with such a delay. Having had to arrive at the airport two hours before take off, I had been there for a full 8 hours before our eventual take off.

I bought myself a small something to eat and drink, used my mobile phone to call those who were expecting me and duly faxed my complaint to Ryanair yesterday. I received a reply today giving me a pathetic 5 Euros refund. I am not impressed, to say the least.

A memorable birthday, but for the wrong reasons.

Birthday blues?

With yet another birthday coming up within a matter of hours, I had been starting to feel ever so slightly depressed. Sometimes I look in the mirror and wonder how I managed to get to be this age. I've also noticed one of the hidden benefits of growing older is that as the wrinkles increase, so your eyesight worsens. So while initially you are aware that they have started to appear and spend good money believing every anti-wrinkle cream's promise of eternal youth, eventually the wrinkles start to blur in front of you...and it has little to do with the money you have spent!

Every year around this time I feel this way and have found a good way of getting over it. Yes, retail therapy is the answer; I buy myself a birthday present. This year the urge to spend a rather large amount of money grabbed hold of me and shook me violently. I will very shortly be ordering myself a shiny new Apple iMac. It's better than looking in a mirror.

Spam

Why do you fall so weak and slow?
Good health is what you really need
Come and see our money party
This one will certainly catch you off guard.
Do you want to be extraordinary?
Be happy! Be really healthy!
Paradise is here!
Your future is now!